Slipping .....

We all seem to have reached a little bit of a flat point recently. 

School holidays were hard, but not as hard as the previous year as Bug's behaviour had improved leading up to Christmas. As soon as he started back at school however this has gone down hill a bit and that gleaming precious hope of an easier time have slipped a little. I thought it might be the changes at school, and there have been some slight issues going on there, but now reports seem to be that he is having good days. 

Wish I could follow him around for the day and just see how it all goes for him.

His behaviour and frustration aren't as bad as at various times over the years, but it's just that shift where his fuse seems shorter and he seems more unhappy - it's the tension that it holds. The second guessing everything all the time that becomes hard for us all.

He seems more unhappy. He's been crying more than usual - I can't work it out with him what is wrong - he just seems frustrated. It's times like these where I worry that he is feeling as low as the rest of us. The thought is heart breaking as just like any other mother you just want to see your child happy. I worry that he feels all alone and trapped, with just his thoughts and no-one can help him.

There is no relatively permanent state with this thing. Improvements are such big deals and can give such false hopes, I can never let myself get comfortable as I know things go down and up and down and up. If I think back to when he was little I know some issues have absolutely gone for good, so I try to think of these victories. 

Feeling quite over it all at the moment - the worst thing about it is I think Bugs is over it all too.