When life gives you the finger.

Feeling so flat today.... and frustrated. So here is my rant.


Bugs has been displaying some really challenging behaviours for some time. I'm not going to go into what they are, but all I can say is they are worrying enough for me to believe that we need some kind of external advice or help. In other words - the way in which we are currently dealing with it is only making the behaviour worse and I have NO clue how to go about the situation. It is upsetting, disturbing and stressful.


So, after feeling close to losing it yesterday I called the Department of Human Services intake - as they have something called BIST - Behavioural Intervention Services Team - in the hope that perhaps we could get someone to listen to our situation and offer advice on how we should be dealing with the issues.
This is the role of BIST. I have never used any service from DHS previously.


On calling today to enquire about it with some sort of hope in my head that someone might be able to help I was informed that the current wait list is .......................... one year.
ONE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After telling me that, the expectation and tone in her voice was really one that was urging me not to bother - "we don't have the amount of staff we need YADA YADA". I felt like telling her I didn't give a shit about DHS's problems right now. I have my own problems - WHICH IS WHY I"M CALLING YOU.


So in my head this means that either carers or people with disabilities who urgently need help, who may be at risk, physically and emotionally - who are asking for help basically don't get it.
In one year, my behaviourally up and down child may either be doing really well, or we would probably have a whole new set of issues to deal with.


If in one year my son is still behaving in the same manner - I know right now that the situation we have now will be so much more ingrained, so much more conditioned and so much worse and harder to reverse.


As a carer and a parent - you don't want to have to ask for help. You want the world to think you are coping. Occasionally you even feel like a failure if you pick up the phone and say you aren't coping.
As a carer when you get the response I did this morning it just confirms that you really are alone in this.


I have no idea now what to do. Other than just keep on struggling, try a different way of coping with it in the slight hope that he will somehow stop what he is doing.  Either way when you feel like you can't do it anymore,  when you have no clue how to get through the next day - you just have to.